Wife Swap Cullen's vs Clarks
by shortevilpixie
Summary: Will the Cullen's have to go to church? Is Emmett a cross dresser? Why is Edward playing strip poker? And WHY is a fourteen year old Ness making out with nineteen year old Jacob?  The Cullen kids are sure to drive the new mom crazy. Multiple POV's.
1. Intro chapter sending the letter

**Hey, this is my new story, Wife Swap: Cullen's vs Clarks. It is still being written so I'm open for any ideas of what you want them to do. I kinda already know what they are going to do and what pranks the Cullen's are going to play on the new mom.**

**I know the Cullen's wouldn't be stupid enough to go on tv, and I know the wouldn't still live in Forks. So just go with the flow. **

**P.S- They do still live in Forks in my story... Same house, same cars...**

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**Emmetts POV.**

"EMMETT McCARTY CULLEN, DO NOT PRESS THAT BUTTON!" Alice screamed from upstairs in her bedroom.

I was sure the humans on the other side of town heard that.

"Geez, calm dow Alice". I muttered as I moved the little arrow on the laptops screen and clicked 'print'. "It's just an innocent button".

"NO IT'S NOT EMMETT". She screeched, running downstairs and coming to a stop next to me in front of the printer. My evil pixie sister sterted tapping her foot impatiently as the pages spilled out neatly. My Rosie finally looked up from her magazine.

"What's going on?" She asked, directing her question towoards Alice.

"Well". Edward answered, suddenly appearing from the kitchen with Bella and Nessie, "from what I see". He said, and nodded at me, "Emmett's going to fill out a wife swap application".

"We're in deep trouble". Jasper muttered from his place on the couch where he was reading.

"Cool!" Nessie exclaimed and came skipping over next to me and collected the freshly printed documents. She laid the out on the table in front of the couch.

"Well," Eddie sighed, "I can see Emmett has no intention of _not _sending out the application... So we may as well fill it out now".

"Yes!" I whooped and did an air punch.

"But be very careful to keep our seceret". Eddie added. "And stop calling me Eddie".

"Yes sir". I replied and did an army salute before getting a pen and sitting down next to my niece on the couch.

"Okay, so who am I pretending to be?"

"Carlise". Bella informed me.

I looked at the first question, well this one was easy;

Family name - _ Cullen. _I scrawled.

Fathers name and age - _ Carlisle 30. _That seemed like a reasonable age. Edward nodded.

Mothers name and age - _ Esme 29._

Names and ages of children from this marrige -

_Isabella 18. _Bella grumbled quietly when I wrote her full name. I ignored her.

_Edward 17._

_Emmett 19._

_Rosalie 18. _"How come you get to be a year younger?" Rose grumbled.

"Cause I'm awesome".

_Jasper 19. _Rosalie growled again.

_Alice 17. _Well, she was small enough.

_Renesmee. _I paused and studied her. _14._

Bella nodded in agreement.

"What about Jake?" Renesmee asked. "He spends so much time here anyway".

_Jacob 19. _Renesmee squealed with delight. "Jake", she yelled to the dog raiding the fridge, "you're living here for two weeks". I was glad I had made my niece happy.

"K". He replied. I knew he had super dog hearing so he would've heard our entire conversation.

I turned back to the application.

Fathers job and work scedule -_ Doctor 9am - 8pm, monday to saturday._

Mothers job and work scedule -_ Stay at home mom, part time home interior desinger._

How long have you been together? -_ 13 years._

If married, for how long? -_ 9 years._

Who takes care of the following responsibilitys in your family-

Childcare -_ Esme._

Shopping -_ Alice and Rosalie._

Cleaning -_ Esme._

Cooking -_ Esme and Edward._

Money -_ Carlisle._

Social life -_ Esme, kids organize their own._

Kids homework -_ Kids._

What pushes your buttons? - I paused for a second before scrawling down one word; _Emmett._

Pets? - I thought about writing Jacob's name down... Nah. _None._

Describe dinner time in your family - Well if I wrote the truth they would have a heart attack. _Dinner time in our family is not organized in our family as we all come home at different times and have our own preferences._

What rules must your children follow? -_ No damaging the house of any of it's contents and respect each other._

I folded the papers and grabbed an envelope from Bella. The room was silent as I sealed the envelope with my venom.

"So", I exclaimed once I'd finished. "Who wants to post it?"

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**Okay, so that was my intro chapter. **

**Review and thanks for reading. A new chapter will be up soon...**


	2. Who wants to see the dvd?

**Ta da! The second chapter. I will try and make my authour notes short at the start of the chapter and longer and the end because I know you just want to get on with it and read the new chapter, so yeah, here you go...**

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**Esme's POV.**

Carlise and I stepped out of his comfortable black Mercedes. I caught the scent of my glorious family, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Renesmee and Jacob. Even though Jacob technically wasn't part of this family yet, I still thought of him as a son.

It was just as well my family was home, I wanted a family meeting. As a few minutes ago I found a very interesting letter in the mail box. I heard Edward calling everyone into the family room as he just heard my thought.

**A couple of minutes later...**

"Please tell me what this is?" I asked, seating myself on one of the two leather couches. I waved my hand in the direction of the unopened letter on the coffe table.

"It's come!" Alice squealed, breaking away from Jaspers embrace and tearing open the envelope.

"_Dear Cullen family" _she began reading aloud, _"congratulations, you have been accepted for our television show, Wife Swap. We loved the dvd you sent us and we all agreed that your family would make great entertainment. The film crew and limosine will be at your residience on the ninth of April and will be filming for ten days. No cameras will be filming on the weekends except for when we pick up, drop off Esme and drop off your new mom. The cameras will film your new mom looking around your house and the first meeting then will return on monday morning._

_The limo will pick up Esme at nine-fifteen sharp, but please be ready bt nine-am._

_Yours sincerly,_

_Wife Swap team._

"Alice warmed up to the idea" Edward added, noticing my shocked expression.

"Please Esme" Emmett begged, "please go on the show for us mommy".

I rolled my eyes at Emmett when he said 'mommy'.

"Fine" I sighed, giving in after suffering from pleading looks from my children and grandaughter. I would do anything for them. I was surprised even Rosalie was silently pleading with me. I knew from past experiences that even if I tried I wouldn't win this.

Edward chuckled.

"I've already had a vision" Alice reassured me, "our seceret will be perfectly safe".

"Well" Carlisle spoke up for the first time, " I suppose this will be fine".

"This will be an interesting experience" I commented, "I've never been away from you guys for more than three days at a time".

Everyone agreed with me there.

"So who wants to see the dvd? Jazzy boy helped me with it" Emmett announced and grinned. Jasper tried to hide a smirk.

"Where's the popcorn?" Renesmee yelled.

The new wife was in for a hell of a time, stuck with my chaotic family for a whole two weeks.

Emmett whipped out a disc from somewhere and shoved it in the dvd player.

"Don't break it Em" Rosalie muttered.

Edward handed Nessie a bowl of popcorn.

"Thanks daddy, uh... I mean Edward" she smiled.

Edward smiled back. "Good to see you're practicing already" he noted.

"Get ready!" Emmett yelled.

**Bella's POV.**

Jasper, Alice, Edward and I sat on one of the soft couches while Emmett and Rose sat on the loveseat. Carlisle, Esme, Jacob and Nessie sat on the other couch to my left.

Emmett tossed Jasper the dvd player remote and Jazz pressed play before throwing it back.

A voice started talking. To a vampire or werewolf it sounded quite like Jasper, but to an ordinary human the voice could easily pass as Carlisle's. The voice continued to speak, _"so now you've heard a little bit about us let's go see my children. Now all of my children are adopted and except for the siblings are not realated by blood so we allow them to date within the family"._

The camera started down the hallway on the third floor and 'Carlisle' opened the first door. Emmett was grinning at the camera while messing around on the laptop. Rosalie was scowling at the camera, about to throw the magazine she was reading at it. 'Carlisle' quickly closed the door and explained to the camera, "_because all of our children are adopted they come from troubled homes, but once you get to know them they are actually very lovely. Okay, so that was Emmett and Rosalie. Let's go find Edward and Bella"._

The camera continued down the hallway and 'Carlise' opened the door. Emmett started cracking up. So did Alice, followed by Jasper.

I groaned and hid my face in Edward's chest, who just chuckled and stroked my hair. I half watched us making out on the screen, completly unaware of the camera. Now I knew why Jasper was going around annoying everyone a few weeks ago.

'Carlisle' was still filming us when Edward finally noticed and slammed the door in his face.

_"They're pretty messed up to" _'Carlisle' explained as he walked down the hallway, down two staircases and into the family room where Nessie and Jake were playing X-box. It was easy to see who was winning by the grin on Nessie's face and the strained look on Jacob's face.

"_Renesmee is Edward's little sister and Jacob is Bella's best friend, we adopted him after his parents died in a car accident". _Nessie and Jacob shot the camera confused looks.

_"They don't like to be reminded of their pasts"._ 'Carlisle' whispered as he headed to our massive garage.

_"Unfortunatly" '_Carlisle' said, his voice back to normal. _"Jasper, Alice's boyfriend is in Nebraska visiting extended family. Esme and I feel it's important for our children to contact their families if they wish. Anyway, this is Alice, and as you can see, she is admiring her car"._

Yep. I could see. She looked like she'd fallen in love with her car. Alice was daintly sitting on the bonnet stroking the yellow paintwork of her porsche. Without breaking her gaze she gave a little wave.

'Carlisle' moved out of the garage and went out the back door. _"This is my lovely wife, Esme" _he declared. Esme looked up from where she was planting some sort of yellow flower and was about to say something when there was a bang and smashing sound coming from the house.

_"Emmett!' _She screeched.

_"It was Jake and Nessie's fault!" _he yelled.

_"Was not!" _Renesmee yelled.

Esme muttered something before running off into the house. 'Carlisle' was left standing awkwardly in the middle of the garden.

"_Well" _he concluded, "_that was my wonderful family"._

The screen went black.

"I can't believe you did that!" I screeched at Jasper.

A wave of calm washed over me.

"Sorr'y Bella" Jasper apologised, "Emmett made me do it".

"S'okay Jasper...But you!" I accused, turning to look at Emmett. "You will pay, I don't know how yet, but you _will _pay".

"Why didn't you warn me Em?" Rosalie whined, "I didn't have any lipstick on".

Emmett rolled his eyes at her.

"What broke?" Nessie piped up.

"Rose threw my laptop out the window". Emmett admitted with a cheesy grin on his face.

My daughter snorted. "Ha, what did you do, uncle Em? Not make out with her or something?"

Emmett smirked at Nessie. "Something like that..."

"So..." Alice interuppted, "I'm going to pack your bags, Esme".

"Bags?" Esme asked with a worried expression on her face.

"Uh huh" she replied, obviously showing no concern, "Rose, Bella, Nessie, you gonna help me?" Alice asked, rising to her feet as the rest of us were doing.

"Yup" Rosalie and Renesmee agreed in unision. They both turned to look at me.

"Bella?" My daughter asked me, smirking.

"No way honey, you're going to help go pack your grandmas bags and _I'm _going to the meadow". I quickly gave her a hug. "With Edward" I added as I slipped out the door.

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**Morgan Clark's POV. (New mom)**

Oh my godness!

It finally came. I knew my family was perfect and now I would be able to show them off to the whole world, or at least to the whole of America. I smiled to myself as I walked up my stone pathway and past my flawless garden.

I unlocked the door to my small three bedroom brick house. Once I was inside and had put down my handbag and the acceptance letter I headed left - straight to the fridge door to read the timetable. My daughter, Emma had ballet and then piano lessons. Sophia - my other daugher, had a cooking class and then she had a part-time job at the library. I made her get a job as soon as she turned sixteen.

I planned to tell my children about the wife swap letter in the car when I picked them up from school. I would tell my husband when he got home from work.

Right. So now I had a little bit of spare time to fill. I thought I should go pack my bag and write a letter to the new wife. I found a pen and a hairtie. I tied my strawberry blonde hair back and sat down at the table with a peice of paper in front of me. We didn't have a computer as I didn't want Sophia or Emma getting into trouble. So I started writing the letter by hand.

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**Do you know what time it is here? One-thirty in the morning! God I miss so much sleep for fan-fiction. To keep me awake I've been singing along to the radio, surprisingly, they have really good songs on at this time, right now I'm singing along to Lady Gaga's 'Judas'. I LOVE that song. I hope I portrayed Esme well enough for you guys. And by the way, you will get a better description of the Clark's house in a while. YAY, now I'm singing along to Kesha's 'Your love is my drug'! Next chapter is my favorite so far. Because you see, I actually write down my stories on paper first, then type them up on the computer, so yeah... Wow, I just read what I just wrote down and it sounds really stupid, well I hope you guys find my pointless jabbering interesting. Anywho, the next chapter is fun coz it's from Edward's POV and Morgan's POV, AND, I'm really proud of the letter that 'Esme' wrote. It's funny. Right now on the radio is 'More' by Usher...Hmm, not sure I like that song, Oh well, I'll sing anyway...Then I'm so going to bed *yawns*. I hope Edward breaks into my room tonight. I only said Edward coz Jacob would be too noisy and wake up my dog. Wait, Zorro will growl at Edward if he comes through the window. Okay, I'm hoping Jacob will sneak into my room tonight. Not gonna happen, but hey, a girl can dream...Dream...Mmm, sounds good around about now. TEAM JACOB! Sorry, I just had to put that in there.**

**Quick question, Do you mind that if later in the story, Willliam Clark hits on Esme, or if Morgan starts oogling Edward?**

***Yawns again*. I really should sleep. Goodnight and please review.**

***The curtains rustle and something filts by* Wait! Was that Edward? Ohh bet Bella will be jelous. Or was it Jacob?**

**Dreamy land...**


	3. They date each other?

**Yay, here is chapter three! My favourite chapter...**

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**Edward's POV.**

We ran through the damp moss covered trees. We'd just spent our last night at the cottage. Esme had done up two of the spare rooms as Nessie had taken my old room when she stayed at the main house. One spare room - the smaller one, was for the new mom and the other room was for Bella and I. Alice had helped Esme make it look like we had been living in our new room for years.

Today was the day of the wife swap. We had it all planned out to make us look 'human'. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, my daughter - wait, no, my 'sister' and I would dress in our pajamas and mess up our hair so it looked as if we had just got out of bed. Alice, Bella and Jacob would be fully dressed, as well as Carlisle and of course Esme. After we had said goodbye to Esme we had to leave for three hours so we - Bella and I, would go to our meadow. Em and Rosalie were going to hunt and then go to the local school to play on the playground. Well that was Emmett's idea, Rosalie would probably just watch. Carlisle would be going on a walk in the forest with Renesmee and Jacob. And finally Alice was dragging Jasper to the mall.

As my wife an I entered the clearing in front of the main house I was bombarded with thoughts.

_I wonder if Bella would wear these heels?_

_Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does...damn it. I still can't get that song outta my head._

_WHAT, NO! They can't stop selling my lipstick color. Maybe I could find it in France?_

_I wonder if doctor Snow needs any help?_

_Jake's really hot. Shutup Nessie, dad can probably hear you...but he is seriously hot..._

_Argg. Too many emotions!_

_I'm hungry, I wonder what's in the fridge. I hope there's cream in the fridge, then I can shove it in Nessie's face and finally complete that dare._

_I'm going to miss my family, especially Carlisle and Edward...and Rosalie and Jasper...aw heck, I'm going to miss all of them._

I smiled, took Bella's hand, and walked up to the front door.

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**Morgan's POV.**

"Goodbye Sophia, take care of Emma while I'm gone".

"Yes mother. I'll miss you".

I smiled at my perfect family before shutting the door to the limosine. I signaled to the driver that I was ready and he started driving.

I didn't expect much of my new family, in fact, I expected nothing. I assumed they would be very dysfunctional. The poor mother would work twenty-four-seven to scrape togeter enough money for her alcoholic husband. The children would be crammed together in one small room and have next to no possesions. I was sure they wouldn't be cristian either. Maybe I could convert them, I mused.

Of course all of my assumtions were shattered as soon as I looked out of my window.

I mean WOW, that house was massive, it must of had at least eight bedrooms. I got out of the limosine and noticed the camera crew had started filming me. I turned back to look at the huge wood, stone, and glass structure. This was not a house, this was a mansion.

I walked up the stairs with my bag and looked at their front garden. It was nearly as neat and pretty as mine. I assumed the mother was good at gardening, that, or they hired someone. I took the key from the camera man and unlocked the door.

The very first thing I saw was a large, old wooden cross and a shiny black grand piano.

"Maybe they are cristian". I mused aloud. My voice echoed throughout the mansion.

I made my way to the living room and saw a massive television, an X-box 360, wii, tonnes of dvd's and games. I instantly believed the children were glued to the television all day every day. I also noted the amount of seats, two long sofas and one loveseat. Quickly glancing around the room and deciding nothing else caught my interest, I moved on to the kitchen. My jaw dropped, literaly. I was appaled, I mean, they had fifty year old wine sitting in plain sight where the kids could easily get it.

I went back to the lobby where the staircase started. I was still towing my bag with me as I hoped to find my room. I was right, I did find my room, after I'd found the games room. Seriously, those kids could never be bored with all those games. Some of the board games included monopoly, yahtzee, chess, cluedo, connect four, snakes and ladders and checkers. They also had a fooseball table, air hockey and an expensive looking pool table. There were also many, many others I couldn't name.

Just as I had put my bag on my bed the camera man alerted me of another door I had missed downstairs. I followed him down to the door and opened it. What I didn't expect was for it to be a garage. A huge, massive garage. I assumed the father was a car collector. But who would need seven cars, wait, make that nine if you count the two extra spaces. And they were expensive too, except for the little red volkswagon. There was a sleek black mercedes, a shiny silver volvo, a massive jeep, a bright red ferrari, a ducati and a black aston martin.

I climbed the stairs again to the second floor and had a quick peep into two more doors. The first was a study/office that had a collection of books so large, you could call it a library. And the second was the master bedroom.

The mansion was perfectly clean as I walked up to the third floor.

I started with the first door on my left, before I opened it I counted them, five. They must have alot of kids.

As soon as I turned the handle it was easy to see the color scheme. Everything was a lemon yellow and black. There was a glass wall and huge double bed in the the middle of the room, but what really surprised me was the glass cabinet that contained lots of old army rifles. The parents must be very irrosponsable. There was also another door coming off this bedroom so I assumed it was an ensuite.

The next rooms color scheme was gold and light pink and looked like a young teenagers room, it - like the last, had a glass wall and what I thought was an ensuite. It also had another door, a huge double bed and it's walls were painted pale gold.

The bedroom to the right of it was what could only be described as messy. At least there was no food anywhere, instead of food there was an unmade bed, clothes scattered EVERYWHERE and just complete disorder. The only nice thing about this room was the creamy white walls and the small half-circle deck.

I quickly realised there was never any sun here, just like at my house.

The second to last room had a massive music and book collection taking up a whole wall, a deep blue cover on the bed and yet another entire glass wall. At least this time it was tidy.

And finally I had a look at the last bedroom. Nail polish and lipstick dominated the large dressing table in front of the glass wall. The walls were a deep cherry red color and the carpet was black. The bed had a silky red and black cover on it.

I realised I didn't know a thing about my new family and I rembered the manual to the household was on the dining room table. After finally finding my way downstairs - even the camera man got lost, I glanced at my watch. I had fourty-five minutes until I would meet my new family. I pulled out one of the twelve chairs from the antique looking table and flipped open the letter.

_Dear new mom,_

_Welcome to my wonderful home. My name is Esme Cullen. Together my husband (Carlisle) and I have adopted eight children, who are all now teenagers. _

_Jacob was adopted three years ago after his parents died in a car accident. He is now nineteen and is Bella's best friend and has formed a very close bond with Renesmee._

_Renesmee, or Nessie as we call her is Edward's little sister. She is the baby of the family and is fourteen. Nessie formed a close bond with Jacob because her parents were also in a fatal car accident._

_Edward is seventeen and loves classical music and playing the piano. He is considerate of others but is also extremely protective of Renesmee and Bella. Do not try and seperate them._

_Isabella, or Bella as we call her is eighteen and very fond of Renesmee. Bella loves reading and listening to Edward play the piano. She has requested I do not tell you about her past. Bella is the older sister of Alice and the younger sister of Emmett._

_Emmett is nineteen and is the older brother of Bella and Alice. He is the prankster of the house and loves to tease Nessie and Edward._

_Alice is the youngest sibling of Emmett and Bella. She is seventeen and adores clothes and shopping. Alice loves to play 'guinea pig barbie' with Bella and Renesmee._

_Jasper is nineteen and is Rosalie's older brother. They have had an extremely troubled past and wish not to talk about it. Jasper has emotional issues and confides his problems in Alice, who he has formed a close bond with._

_Rosalie is eighteen and may not be friendly to you at first, but she is very sweet on the inside. She is not very close with Jasper. Rosalie is very fond of Renesmee and loves shopping with Alice._

_Now you may be wondering why there are only five bedrooms. Well, since my children are not blood realated - except for the siblings, and as they are only family by paper, Carlisle and I allow them to date within the family. The couples are - Edward and Bella, Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. Renesmee, aswell as Jacob do not currently date anyone._

_Here is a list of things I advise you to NOT do..._

_- Leave Emmett alone with anyone except Rosalie, Alice and /or Carlisle._

_- Seperate Edward and Bella._

_- Take away Alice's credit cards or car._

_- Seperate Emmett and Rosalie._

_- Get a pet (Alice is allergic and it is life threatining.)_

_- Take away Rosalie's shoes._

_- Take away Alice's shoes._

_- Seperate Jacob and Renesmee._

_Otherwise, have fun. I hope my family treats you well and good luck._

_Best wishes,_

_Esme Cullen._

I was stunned. Absolutly completly stunned. I was sure my mouth was hanging wide open.

First things first, how, _how_ could these parents let the children date each other? _And _let them share bedrooms. And second, these teenagers are spoilt. I did feel sorry for them, coming from troubled homes, but there's no need to spoil them.

I glanced at my watch again, I had five minutes before I would meet my new family. I walked through to the lobby and looked out the glass wall.

While I was waiting, questions flooded my mind. What would these teenagers look like? What were their pasts like? Would they like me? Why did Carlisle and Esme adopt? Why teenagers? Why eight of them? I also wondered how Esme was doing. I hoped that my family weren't uninviting to her.

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**Get ready for a long authour note...**

**Did you like that chapter? Review!**

**Watch for this little quirk of mine - Esme calls the living room a 'family room' and Morgan calls the living room, well, a living room. Because the Cullen's are not living so they all call it a family room.**

**I'm not going to remind you of the cameras very often, because it kind of mucks up my story. But what I am going to remind you of often is the fact that the Cullen's are vampires. I'll drop in little reminders thoughout my story. I just don't want the Cullen's to become too human like.**

**And, um for this chapter and any following chapters, I hope not to offend any of the christians that read this.**

**On another note - I had so much fun with this chapter, I had to google all the Cullen cars and get photos of them so I could get an idea for their look. And I had tonnes of fun thinking of board games that the Cullen's couldn't use their powers on, like yhatzee and monopoly, and of course the ones they can use their powers on, like chess, checkers and cluedo. I also loved thinking up bedrooms for them. BTW- The yellow and black room is Jasper and Alice's, the pink and gold one is Nessie's, the messy one is Jake's, the one with the music and books belongs to, yep, you guessed it, Edward and Bella. The red and black one is Rosalie and Emmett's. I had fun writing the letter for Morgan too, it was awesome making up all those lies to tell her.**

**The next chapter... will be up soon, and will include Esme seeing the Clark's house for the first time, and meeting the Clark's. Sorry but the next two chapters will be slightly shorter.**

**Thank you for reading my horribly long authour's note...review!**


	4. Meeting the Clark's

**So here is chapter four...**

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**Esme's POV.**

I looked out the window and instantly loved my new house.

The deep cherry red door complemented the dark bricks well. A butterfly danced over my head as I got out of the white limosine, I took the key from the camera man and got one of my bags out of the back. The driver got my other bag for me - I'd managed to persuade Alice to only pack me two bags - and I walked up the stone pathway. It looked alot like the pathway at Bella and Edward's cottage. The garden was small but colorful, different types of flowers lined the stones and circled the few trees.

The door opened smoothly with a little click. The layout was open, simple, small and tidy. The kitchen and dining room was to the left, family room to the right, and bedrooms and bathroom down the short hallway in front of me.

I wheeled both my bags down the hallway and stopped at the first door on my left. The pale wooden door was wide open and looked like the guest room so I placed my bags next to the double bed and put my handbag on the plain white covers. I kicked off my silver heels before investigating the house further.

The first bedroom I looked in - the one directly next to mine - appeared to be an older teenagers room, but I saw no electronics. The near-bare walls were painted and off white. There was alot of classical music lined up on the bookshelves and school books were laying on the violet covers of the single bed. Another thing I noticed was a guitar in the corner of the room by the desk.

The door that was directly across the hallway was the bathroom and the door next to the lead to the master bedroom. I didn't want to intrude on their privacy so I skipped that room.

Finally the last bedroom I looked in was at the end of the short hallway and had a plaster of paris name plate hanging on the door that read 'Emma'. I turned the handle and opened the door. Unlike the first bedroom, this was small, but that's not the thing - or things - that stood out the most. What jumped out to me was all the animal ornaments. There were mostly birds cluttering the wooden dressing table, but there were also dogs, cats, rabbits, goats, leopards, elephants and horses. They were all different sizes and colors. The biggest was a yellow, red and blue budgie and the smallest was a tiny white kitten on it's back with it's paws in the air. I tore my gaze from the little porcelin figures and glanced around the rest of the room. Books took up most of the space on the bookshelf so there was little room for the colorful clay vases that stood on the shelves. The covers on the bed were a light yellow and the walls were bare except for the ballet poster that loomed above the bed.

I walked back down the brown carpeted hallway and into the kitchen. The manual was sitting on the light wooden table in the dining room. I crossed the empty space in a few steps and sat down in one of the four soft leather chairs. I then opened the manual to this household and started reading.

_To the new mother of this household,_

_Hello, my name is Mogan Clark, my husband is called William. We have two daughters, Sophia (17) and Emma (9)._

_My children have nearly no free time as I believe if they do they will get into trouble, etc, smoking and alcohol. So my kids are involved in piano, graphics...you get the picture._

_Emma gets up at seven-am and goes to bed at eight-pm every night without fail. Her classes are ballet, piano and pottery. On saturday she does woodwork._

_Sophia gets up at six-am and goes to bed at nine-pm. She has a part time job at the local library every day after school. After that she has a graphics or cooking class. On the weekend she has guitar and singing lessons. Sophia liked to listen to rock music but I banned it. I only let my children listen to classical music._

_We go to church every sunday and I won't let my children date until they turn twenty. My husband has long work hours (seven-am to eight-pm) and does not get to spend much time with the kids. We all go to church together but afterwards William is usually busy with paperwork._

_Sophia gets to spend about an hour every day with her father and Emma only sees him if she gets up early in the morning._

_I like to keep my house clean and tidy and I don't let my children eat any unhealthy food. Sophia and Emma are only allowed to watch the television for one hour on saturdays with the only exception if it is for schoolwork._

_Take care of my children and I hope you learn something from this swap._

_Sincerly,_

_Morgan Clark._

I didn't know what to think, I only knew that these children needed to spend more time with their father. I didn't get time to think any futher because that very second I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I didn't let that show through on my face as I wanted to appear 'human'. So I walked over to the black sofa to wait to meet my new family.

Of course I didn't have to wait long.

Just as I was scanning the family room - there was a black piano, a small flat screen tv and a shaggy rug, the door opened. A man walked in, he looked about fourty and his brown/grey hair was starting to go bald on the top. His garnet colored eyes searched the family room and finally rested on me. William smiled as his eyes widened and then he turned to his kids.

"Well, say hello" he said.

A teenage girl walked up to me and I stood up to greet her.

"I'm Sophia" she declared and stuck her hand out.

I looked into her bright blue eyes and smiled warmly.

"And I'm Esme" I replied and shook her hand.

She smiled and stepped back to let her sister greet me.

Emma bounced foreward and boldly hugged me. Luckily I was wearing a singlet under my green blouse so she couldn't feel how cold I was.

I smiled and hugged Emma back. She finally realeased me and looked at me. Emma had light brown hair and bright blue eyes, a pretty combination. I glanced back at Sophia and decided she got her strawberry blonde hair from her mother.

"I'm Emma".

"Nice to meet you Emma" I replied.

Emma went and sat down on the sofa with Sophia as William came up to me and shook my hand. Then he went and squashed inbetween his daughters, leaving me to sit on the other small couch by myself.

"You know you don't have to squash together" I suggested, "one of you could sit next to me".

Sophia took up my suggestion and without a word she came and plunked down next to me.

"So Esme" William started. I noticed he was wearing a suit, probably come straight from work. "Tell us about yourself".

"Yeah, like how many kids you have" Emma blurted out.

"And what their names are" Sophia added.

"Well" I said, taking a deep breath. I decided right there and then that I would hunt in a few days as my throat burned slightly. "I have eight children" I announced.

"But you're so young!" Sophia gasped.

"I have eight _adopted_ children" I corrected, "and I'm twenty-nine".

"What are their names?" Emma asked.

"Their names are Edward, Jacob, Emmett, Jasper, Renesmee, Rosalie, Alice and Bella".

"How old are they?" William inquired.

"Well, Renesmee is the baby of the family and is fourteen, Alice and Edward are seventeen, Rosalie and Bella are eighteen and Jasper, Jacob and Emmett are nineteen".

"It must be hard" William noted, "taking care of eight adopted teenagers".

"They're perfectly well behaved" I defended, "they may come from troubled homes but they are very lovely once you crack their shells".

"Well, it sounds like you have nice kids Esme, I'm very sorry but I have to get back to work". And with that, William got up and walked out the door. I waited a minute and heard the car start up and drive away before I spoke.

"Does that always happen?" I asked Emma, who'd just swung her feet up onto the tiny couch.

"Yup" Emma replied, popping the 'p', "daddy spends all of his time at work".

"Sorry Esme" Sophia apologised, "you must be tired. I'm guessing you want to go unpack and settle in".

Not really. I wanted to find out more about this family and improve these kids lives. "Yeah, that sounds good" I lied. "What are you guys going to do now?"

"I've got to practice my guitar" Sophia informed me.

"And I have to clean my room" Emma piped up.

"Okay" I mumbled, "I guess I'll go unpack". I got up off the couch and started walking to my new room.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**There, chapter four!**

**Sorry I haven't updated in ages. Life has been hectic, it was easter weekend and I had to go to my aunties wedding - which was awesome, but there was a wasp hanging around during the ceromony and my little cousins were fighting over the flowers. And I've been really tired, so, sorry. I've been kinda down in the dumps lately but right now as I'm typing I'm eating chocolate and gazing at my brand new OPI Katy Perry nail polish (the one that got away) it's a reddish/ pinky/ purple color and it's so cool! It just came to NZ too. Hey! Guess what? I'm going to the Katy Perry concert in 10 days! Yay! I can't wait. Though when she's singng live she is terrible (I love youtube).**

**Anyway, now that I've spilled my guts to you, here is new news about this story!**

**I feel like this chapter is lacking somehow, is that just my imagination?**

**If you think this chapter is boring... it's supposed to be! The Clark's will get a bit more interesting later on in the story, and I won't go back to the Clark's house for a few more chapters, only because it is way more exciting and interesting at the Cullen's.**

**In a few days the chapters will be put up slower because school is starting again and my education is more important than fanfic.**

**Next chapter will be... I'm not telling!**

**IN OTHER NEWS...**

**ROYAL WEDDING! I know in America it's not that important, but in New Zealand it is. On friday I'm going to stay up all night watching it with my best friend on a sleepover, wait, we won't be sleeping, coz in our time it's like at 12pm to 6am...Wow I'm going to be tired...**

**Thanks! Review!**


	5. Crying, screaming and laughing

**Did you see it? The royal wedding? It was amazing, I loved her dress...Anyway, here is chapter five...**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Morgan's POV.**

Through the glass window/wall in the lobby I saw a canary yellow porsche pull up. At the same time three people emergered from the forest. The first person to emerge looked too good to be a supermodel. A pale, young, good looking, male supermodel. His blonde hair was perfectly styled and he wore jeans and a light blue sweater. A pale girl of about fourteen came bouncing - _literally_ _bouncing_ - out of the forest next to a massive tanned native american, they were laughing at something apparently extremely funny.

I glanced back at the expensive yellow car. A small pixie like teenager had skipped over to the back and was now collecting shopping bags with a tall golden haired guy. It was actually quite funny, seeing a really short teenager standing next to a tall one.

The next teenagers to arive was a brunette and a bronze haired couple. When they emerged from the forest they were holding hands so I assumed they were one of the couples. The good looking bronze haired one walked over to the fourteen-year-old and kissed her forehead, so now he was sandwiched inbetween the brunette and who I assumed was his sister.

Everyone turned to look as a cherry red convertable pulled up next to the porsche. The top was open so you could see the pale blonde haired teenage girl getting out of the car. A hugely framed dark haired guy walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Great, another couple.

They walked towords me up the steps. Two at a time with the blonde man leading. I assumed he was Carlisle.

Carlisle opened the door and smiled at me as his children filed in. I noticed the fourteen-year-old and the blonde haired girls were not dressed approprately. The blonde ones skirt was way above her knees and the young ones denim shorts were way too small. The pixie like one and the golden haired one were holding at least fifteen shopping bags each.

Carlisle spoke first.

"Hello, this is my family and I'm Carlisle" He motioned to each of them in the order they were standing in, "this is Renesmee, Jacob, Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie".

I felt a wave of lust towords Edward and Emmett and suddenly felt vey confident around all these intimidating teenagers. Then all of a sudden it was gone. Weird. I shook my head and introduced myself.

"My name is Morgan Clark and I have two -".

"Don't care" Rosalie interuppted. She took some bags off Alice and stomped upstairs, followed by Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Jacob, Renesmee, Alice and Bella.

I stared after them in amazement. This poor man had such rude kids.

Carlisle turned to me, "well Morgan, sorry about that. I expect you have thorougly read through the manual that Esme left for you?"

"Yes" I replied, "so I'll be following your family's rules for one week."

"You can change the rules next saturday, okay?"

"Okay, so I will just...fill in time I guess".

"I will be in my study if you need me" Carlisle concluded as he made his way up the staircase.

I nodded and decided to see what the children were up to.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**(Still Morgan's POV)**

After unpacking my bags I trotted downstairs to find the children. I ended up finding them in the living room, apparently they had all quietly migrated downstairs. They were intently surrounding the Monopoly board. No one glanced up as I walked through the doorway so I sat on the edge of the couch next the Renesmee.

"You owe me five-hundred-dollars!" Renesmee shouted at Jasper.

Jasper scowled in response and threw her a bunch of notes. I noticed they were real.

"I'm broke" Jasper muttered. He turned to Alice, "Aliiiiii" he whined, "I'm broke, can you give me some money?"

"Nope" she replied blankly, still focused on the game.

"Please?"

"Nope".

"C'mon Al".

"Nope".

"I'm buying that!" Rosalie shouted.

"No!" Alice interuppted, "I want to buy it!"

"Too bad" Rosalie replied.

"Yeah Rosalie, too bad, I just rolled the dice" Edward sneered.

Rosalie snarled.

"Please?" Jasper whined.

"Nope" Alice replied blankly.

Jasper turned to Renesmee.

"Nessie?"

"Nuh ah".

It was Edward's turn and he landed on a hotel. He glanced down at his amount of money.

Bella grinned at him.

This time it was Edward who said, "please?"

"Fine" she replied.

"Thank you love".

"That's cheating!" Renesmee screeched.

"Oh yeah, like I didn't see Jake giving you all that money" Bella replied.

Renesmee blushed. I glanced around the board and sure enough it was Renesmee who had the most money. It was Emmett, Jasper and Jacob who looked tied with the least.

"No! We're a team!"

"Since when?"

"Since now!"

All this shouting was starting to give me a headache. Great.

"Well then Bella and I are a team!" Edward shouted.

"So are Rose and me!" Emmett shouted, snatching a wad of money from Rosalie.

"Hey!" Rosalie screehed, snatching it back.

"YES!" Jasper exploded suddenly, "ha ha ha, you owe me one-thousand-five-hundred-dollars" he stabbed a finger at Renesmee, who snatched the rest of Jacob's money and threw it at his face. Jasper grinned wildly and kindly split it with Alice.

I glanced back at Rosalie and Emmett. Their heads were half resting on the board, scattering everyones money and cards around. It seemed to me that they were thourgly enjoying their little make out session. Edward jumped up and started kicking Emmett.

"Not" kick "in" kick "front" kick "of" kick "Nessie!" He finished with one last kick and stomped out of the room with Bella.

Emmett and Rosalie got up looking frazzled but otherwise unharmed. They grinned at me and ran out of the room. I sighed and got up off the couch. I decided to go talk to Carlisle about his kids behaviour. They were rude, violent and downright disobediant.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Bella's POV.**

We quickly ran upstairs to the games room - Alice had decided that it would be our meeting place. Edward sat on the edge of the pool table and and waited by the door for my family.

My big dopey brother threw open the door and high-fived my awating hand, he was closely followed by Rose, who also got a high-five. We waited a few long minutes before I opened the door and Renesmee entered, followed by Jacob, Alice and Jasper. As each of them came in I gave them each a high-five - or in Jacob's case an accedental face slap.

We settled down to dicuss how we would carry out our next prank - or joke, whatever we called it. I sat down cross-legged on the pool table next to Edward. Nessie, Alice and Rosalie were sitting against the far wall and Jacob, Emmett and Jasper were standing against the wall in front of me.

I didn't used to like pranking people, except for one time an april first with Edward when I was still human... let's just say it involved a lake. But I discovered that once I became a vampire it was actually really fun... I was suddenly yanked out of my train of thought from the rustle of a plastic bag.

"You got the clothes Alice?" Rosalie asked.

"Yep" Alice replied, "I got extra, extra large". She held up a bag from behind the poker machine.

"What did you get?" Nessie questioned.

"Well" she replied, starting to pull bright pink and black lacy things out of the bag, "I got a mini skirt". She held up a bright pink cotton skirt, "a tank top, a wig, heels" Alice held up a blonde wig and bright red stripper heels, "and" she continued, "a black lacy bra!"

We all cracked up laughing, well Nessie wasn't laughing, she was crying. It was that funny.

"This is unfair" Emmett groaned and hid his head in his hands.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

***Dodges bullet***

**Don't kill me! Sorry for not updating lately!**

**Now we've gotten over that, he he I'm going to the Katy Perry concert in two days! YAY!**

**IN OTHER NEWS! HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW BREAKING DAWN PICS! OMG OMG OMG OMG...IT'S SO EXCITING. THERE ARE EIGHT OF THEM FROM PART 1! Omg, I never say omg except for when it has something to do with Twilight. He he. *screams coz it's so exciting*.**

**There is a new poll on my profile called 'what should be my profile pic?' Please vote!**

**Anyway, about the previous chapter, the Clark's house I was describing is my friends house, my weird imagination just altered it a little for the story.**

**Um okay, gotta go clean out a guinea pig hutch...fun. Review!**

**BTW - If you think Morgan's moods change too much, and want to complain, complian to a Cullen that starts with the letter 'J'.**


	6. AUTHORS NOTE

One big long authors note. Sorry, it's not an update.

Hello again. Wow... I think it was June or July since I last posted. Anyway... I hope at least one or two of my readers are still with me and this story. Okay, so I've lost my spark for writing, even though I love it. I'm sorry. School has been taking over my life. But during this next week, I've decided to re-post all the chapters of this story, hopefully improving them, making them longer and since I'm a little rusty I hope it will get me used to writing these fanfics again so I can start writing chapters! Also, if you haven't already, please check out my other story, "Sick Week At The Cullen's". It's about Bella getting sick with the flu. I know many people have done it before but I haven't found one I really loved so I attempted to write my own!

That story, and this one, have been basically abandoned by me. Pretty sad really. But as I said above, I'll be re-posting the chapters with new additions and _maybe_ I might write another chapter for this one. I find it hard to put my thoughts into words. So _maybe. _This A/N will be up until I've finished editing and re-posting this whole story, then it will be taken down so the only story still up will be the new re-done one. If you get what I'm saying. Oh, I talk too much. Okay, until next time, and I'm so awfully sorry.

ShortEvilPixie.


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